And voila.

A special October-themed design, hastily whipped up in a few hours time. I know it’s not great. It could be more morbid, more disgusting, more extravagant. And right now, the damn blood looks like turnip juice and everything is just so PG-13.

But I’m tired. And I wanna go eat some munchies, so piss off.

Drop me a line and tell me what you think. It was all for you, baby.

For those of you who’ve e-mailed me with words of encouragement and sympathy, thank you. You guys are truly the best of friends.

I know this site’s been glum as of late. I know I’ve been glum. And I know you want something exciting, something wild, something bold! You want naked chicks and monster trucks. You want chainsaws and filet mignon. You want change!

And so I’m devoting a few hours this afternoon for you, my lovable, fuckable readers. Stay tuned for a nice October-themed surprise.

So I wrote a post a few hours ago. I wrote a post, but it’s not there anymore.

It sucked. It sucked badly because lately I haven’t been able to write. In fact, I haven’t been able to do math either. I’ve been moody, I’ve been depressed, I’ve been wallowing in the past, and I’ve been pretty useless in all aspects of life.

So I removed my crappy post. None of you should be subjected to such mundane writing. And other than posting another silly picture of myself, I’m not quite sure what I should do now.

I need a drink. I need a drink and a better life.

So instead, why don’t you squeal and coo at a picture of my beloved cat, who sadly passed away about a year ago.

We called her Minou. A bit amusing if you’re French, because ‘minou’ is another word for ‘pussycat’. Okay, not so funny. But you’re not really French are you, so fuck off.

To: Phil
From: Kat
Date: September 22, 2006
Subject: Don’t you care?!?!?

Jeez Phil. What’s going on? No witty posts, no embarrassing stories, not a single shred of originality and/or entertainment. Are you THAT busy?

At least have the decency to post an embarrassing photo of yourself, or something. Go dress up in an absurd costume, cook up some chocolate cupcakes, and take a picture. 5 minutes, that’s all we want.

Kat xxx

To: Kat
From: Phil
Date: September 24, 2006
Subject: Re: Don’t you care?!?!?

Dear Kat,

I do care.

Sincerely yours,
Phil

James Burnett, perhaps the blogosphere’s most eminent authority and critique on etiquette decided to address a growing concern among his female readers,

So go read his post. You know you want to. James manages to come up with an acceptable compromise for both the ladies and the gentlemen, akin to a rule-of-thumb you might have picked up in elementary school.