To: Ho with the ample cleavage
From: Phil
Date: September 06, 2006 11:15 PM
Subject: None

I saw you at the gym. You were magnificent. Tanned brunette, long wavy hair, short-short blue shorts, and a shirt cut so low your assets were practically bursting to get out.

And yes, you were also the gym’s loudest mouth, biggest flirt, and most noticeable skank and ho-bag in training.

The gym is my sanctuary. It is where I spend sixty minutes of my stressful and weary day, molding my body into the lean mean fighting machine that it is. It is where I sculpt my body to utter perfection, not by slapping on mere clay, but through hard exercises, training, and sweat.

You, on the other hand, feel the gym is your personal playground. A place where you can shout and cackle loudly to the annoyance of the poor patrons. A place where you can walk around and flirt shamelessly with every morsel of male beef you can smell within a ten meter radius.

As the gentleman of the hour, I’m compelled to remind you — Miss Slut with the Ample Cleavage — that the typical rules of etiquette continue to apply in the gym, even to those with D cups. You skank.

Sincerely Yours,
Phil