How many of you actually see shiny silver stars, yellow smiley faces, sparkly rabbits, or (for only the best students) fuzzy horses on your Calculus and Algebra assignments?

That’s right, suckers. I’m the coolest TA around.

The IT2M gang, who are very much responsible for directing traffic to my site for the past few days occasionally come out with lovely tidbits of advice for aspiring blog writers. Sprinkled with their usual offensive slang and colourful callousness, I’ve found little helpful nuggets of wisdom.

One of these bits of advice they’ve offered is the following. The blog writer should never, ever spend a post apologizing for lack of updates. Why? To put it bluntly: nobody gives a shit.

My blog was reviewed earlier today.

Strangely enough, I get the feeling Merciless Minx was being unusually nice to me. The lack of expletives, cussing, and furious ass fucking they usually dole out to readers was strangely missing. But maybe Minx was just trying something new.

In that case, I appreciate the sentiment and wish her a speedy recovery to her usually rude and vindictive self.

It wasn’t a shining review, but they had words of wisdom to offer me. From a site that probably gets more hits than I can ever dream of, words of wisdom like that should always be taken seriously.

So yes, comments will be incorporated in the next few days. I hope this doesn’t make a mess of things.

I guess my fear has always been that I’ll get a grand number of zero comments, except from that lone stalker girl who with every post, offers her ditsy I knows and perhaps her oh-that’s-awfuls. Or even my favourite, ‘Uh-huh’, which can be translated as ‘that’s life’, ‘whatever’, or ‘fuck you, kind sir’.

Stuff like that should be bottled up and sent to me via e-mail so I can suffer my humiliation in private.

A lot of things happened today. I finally contacted all three of my required referees for the Commonwealth and NSERC scholarships, and all three agreed to happily write up a letter for me. It’s a nice list of people I have backing me up, including my thesis supervisor, the Chair of Senate for the University, and a well-spoken, frightfully nice, retired professor.

Which means I’ll have to rush out and provide each one with a care package (required documents, cover letter, CV, research summaries, personal statements, fruit baskets, coupons, and whatever). But what a delight it is to finally tie up these loose end. Two of them will undoubtedly go on to become my Ph.D. referees, leaving only one more person I’ll need to hassle/threaten in the coming months.

I’ll drink to that!

The TA assignments were given out today, and I did get the two classes I wanted to lecture for. First year Linear Algebra for Biology/Science students, and first year Calculus for business students. Thank GOD I wasn’t assigned some crackpot upper level class for math majors.

Honestly, math people are the pits. Dullest motherfuckers around.

I’ve been linking to Rhys a lot lately. She doesn’t deserve it really, because she’s a bigger celebrity than me. And twice the loon. But nevertheless, on her most recent post, she writes about her ability to score dates simply by standing on a street corner. That’s class for you.

I was going to direct her and her viewers towards one of my favourite blogs, but then I realized a better way would be to post it here. That way they’ll need to click to my site first, adding to my revenue, and thus helping me fund my growing addiction to heroine.

Karen Cheng from Australia maintains a very popular mommy blog on the internet. It’s a rare mommy blog that doesn’t make me gag, and it’s a blog that partially inspired the design of {Phil’s Proof}. Her use of personal handwriting, a clean design, and very colorful images complimenting wonderful posts are things I tried to keep in mind when I was envisioning my baby.

But I know the guys reading this post are all, “Where the fuck are the chicks with the melons?” Relax dudes. I’m getting there.

The reason why Rhys’ adventure felt so familiar was because Karen had a similar story to tell more than a year ago. In fact, after I re-read her post, Watermelons and Stalkers, I realized how much Rhys reminded me of Karen (and vice versa).

Honestly, we should put the two women together. Lunacy like that should be quarantined.