I walked in to give the Linear Algebra tutorial the other day and saw thirty students snickering, along with this scandalous message, neatly printed in big letters on the black board:

Yeah, I know the poetry is horrendous — as if they couldn’t find a third word to rhyme with ‘nut’ and ‘butt’ .

And besides, practically everyone knows that my ass cheeks, like Michelangelo’s David, are Roman in both proportion and muscularity. Hell, give em’ a squeeze. Go ahead. I promise you won’t be disapointed.

So for the few students who are reading this – you and I, we’re going to have a serious discussion about my derrière next Wednesday. Do your homework, takes notes, and prepare to kiss my ass, you little brats.