I just don’t get it.
The blogs were strangely silent for weeks. Nothing worth talking about.
And then suddenly, everybody’s being all witty and shit.
Which totally jacks my shit. Cause, like, now I have to put in an effort to be all witty and shit.
So here’s a sampling of some of my internet friends, aquaintances, and peep shows.
Rhys, as fantastic as she is, only seems to attract the creepy guys.
A freaky bag boy came onto me when I was just trying to get some groceries. He kept staring at me, and not at all in a flattering way, but in a way which you could totally tell he was mentally measuring my body to see how well it would fit into his trunk.
Tracy [thanks to Ms. Chatty] has letters from the real Santa Clause.
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh.
You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa
And CP posted links to a hilarious 3-part series starring Mr. Clause, Mrs. Clause, Rudolph, and Jesus — in an unusual arrangement.
It’s definitely twisted and macabre, but amusing nonetheless.
A Christmas themed parody
{R Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet}
Part 1: In The Clauset
Part 2: Trapped In The Clauset
Part 3: The Finale
Next post is going to be fantastic.
I’m showing you how to use math to make a move on that girl/guy you’ve totally had the hots for.
No shit. With great power comes great responsibility.
Spiderman taught me that.
And that’s the only reason why I haven’t used my math secrets to steal his Mary-Jane.