Every good math problem begins with a fascinating story, and unfortunately, love can only be studied with a pair of lovers.

I can certainly be the lover, but who will be my lovee?

Who will be the Juliet to my Romeo, the Mary Jane to my Spider Man, the Hermia to my Lysander? Alas, I need a leading lady.

For this, I’ve turned to the lovely Dr. Allison Cameron [played by Jennifer Morrison] on the most excellent show House, M.D.

I know what you’re thinking.

Her? Me? No way.

In your dreams, loser.

But that’s only because you haven’t seen the teaser for the next season of House, M.D. [Season 4]

This highly touted season of House, M.D. will be the first to introduce Phil [played by himself] as an eager, yet adorably naive mathematician who lends his mathematical talents to the crack medical team of Dr. Gregory House [Hugh Laurie].

Phil quickly catches the eye of a beautiful Dr. Allison Cameron [Jennifer Morrison] who, so enraptured by his wit and charm, finds herself quickly falling for the young mathematician, despite crude advances by Dr. Robert Chase [Jesse Spencer], Dr. James Wilson [Robert Sean Leonard], and Dr. Eric Foreman [Omar Epps].

Said to be the darkest season of House, M.D. ever, House tries to desperately hold his ragtag crew of medical misfits together as they cope with loss, betrayal, and hardship abstract mathematics.

All that to say that the lovely Dr. Cameron will be the subject of our intense mathematical analysis to come.

And I’m sure y’all are all, “How does a guy like YOU get a girl like THAT.”

Simple. The Mathematics of Dynamical Systems.

The dynamics of attraction can be modeled by a system of simple equations. Knowing how your system behaves, you can then decide how you should pursue Mr. or Ms. Right of your life.

In the next post, I’ll be showing you some of the basic tools you’ll need.