“I think I’m ready to have a relationship.”

“No you’re not.”

“You know, with a girl…”

“As opposed to what? A textbook?”

“So?”

“So if you’re all ready, why are you here talking to me?”

“Well, uh…I have a question.”

“Sure.”

“How much time do I need to put aside for if I want a girlfriend?”

“Phil, you can’t just pencil it into your agenda like that.”

“I know, I’m not entirely hopeless.”

“I know.”

“…I’d just like a rough approximation.”

“A rough approximation?”

“Yeah, I’m willing to make the sacrifice.”

“Are you?”

“Definitely.”

“So…like, 3 hours a week? Will that do? That includes transportation, phone calls, small talk, the occasional dinner…”

“Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Oh, I haven’t found her yet. Do I get to pick from a catalogue or something?”

“Oh brother. You’re not ready, Phil.”