I got my first A today.

Since, like, ever.

As if you’re surprised. I told ya it was going to happen. In a class of older Ph.D. students where the average on the final was an astounding 49%, there was little I could do but screw up.

has-been  /ˈhæzˌbɪn/
–noun

1. a person or thing that is no longer effective, successful, popular, etc.

2. Phil. Loser.

Whatever.

They say life gets easier once you hit rock bottom.

This will undoubtedly ease my eventual transition to college dropout, juvenile delinquent, street bum, and ultimately, male gigolo.

You know, the stuff movies are made of.