One of the most painful aspects with moving away from home is the fact you have to ‘re-purchase’ things you may have always had stocked in the trusty cupboard back home.

Moreover, moving to a different continent altogether, complicates things a whole bunch.

Because now, when you head to your local supermarket, not only is the layout of the land sufficiently foreign to prevent you from zooming through the aisles (because, baby, when I shop, I zoom), but you find that all your trusted, well-acquainted brands of several years have been replaced by imposters.

And I know it sounds preposterous, but having been born and raised in Canada, I just find any British brands suspicious.

So yes. I will, in fact, stand in front of the laundry detergents section for hours.

Pawing. Sniffing. Prying. Crying if I have to.

Because damnit, if it ain’t got Tide or Cheers on the front, it ain’t to be trusted.

And there had better be a cheery North-American toddler with a perfect, Crest-white smile and grass-stained clothes on the front or I won’t use it. Won’t use it, I say.

How do I know British-made detergents weren’t designed to disintegrate North American clothing and produce awful rashes on the skin of poor trusting (yet gullible) Canadians?

But with the shops closing for the night, I’ll often be pushed and prodded to make a decision.

Of course, seeing the picture above, with my new box of laundry detergent proudly displayed on top of my (admittedly wimpy) pile of clothes, I bet you’re wondering how I decided upon this particular product.

Well, suffice it to say, products I purchase are forced to endure a rigorous selection process.

Here’s how it went down.

First, I looked at the price. Cheap, but not the cheapest. Products a few cents (I mean pence) more expensive than the cheapest are loads better.

Second, there’s a hot blonde on the cover. Obviously, if I wash my clothes with this detergent, hot blondes will find me irresistible.

Third, it smells like lavender. Lavender smells good. A bit girly, but I don’t think the people are quite ready for propane-and-lumberjack scented detergents.

Finally, it says “2 in 1: with fabric softener” on the carton. Clearly, that means you’re getting more bang for your buck. I mean, pound.

I know. Intense. Because that’s how I shop.