I’ve been sitting here for a little under an hour.
Thinking.
Thinking about what to write. What I can write.
Nothing. I’m getting absolutely nothing.
Everything in my head is a mess. Like someone put my brains into a Cuisineart and pressed the purée button.
Mush. That’s all I’ve got.
Dan says,
Maybe it’s best to start with a joke. Something like: what is ten feet tall, has a dorsal fin, and smokes a pipe?
Dan says,
I suppose you could also try being topical. Who’s your pick for top Democrat and why? What’s your favourite brand of mustard? Did you kill JFK and list three reasons why…
Dan says,
Fine, I’ll write your article for you.
Dearest Blogosphere,
Why am I so alone? I thought I had this “life” thing figured out: me + math = bitches and fame. But alas, left side does not always equal right side - even in the most “elegantest” of proofs. Curses and fie! Bloody ‘ell, mate!
Man, dear readers, get this: I was in the MountMcChesterShireton Library at “da’ Ox” (which is what I now refer to my school as) the other day and this smoking-hot white girl walked by but she barely noticed me behind my thermodynamics textbook I had propped up on my desk (to make it look like I was not reading a “gentlemen’s magazine”). O how I yearned to savour the delights of her mystical garden of wonderment. I shall continue this yearning process over a cup of hot coffee.
How can it be that with my buff physique and fondness for integrals that I doth not be the proverbial honey that attracts all the proverbial female flies? Surely, dear readers, you understand the bind I am in: I have wild oats that need sowing but no fine maiden to sow them. Maybe if I got highlights in my hair or learned to salsa dance, the women would flockest like sheep to their shepherd. Hmmmm. Maybe they would… Stay tuned for more.
Yours truly,
Philippe
Dan says,
Disclaimer: do not kick my ass.
Jonathan Weatherhead says,
ahahahahaha Dan you must be bored:P Phil, in situations like the one stated above, I post youtube links to absolute crap. Here’s one for starters:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=h8-XaxH9uTw
Dave says,
LOL Dan, that was pretty damn good! If you had posted that under Phil’s name I would have believed it
Nishant says,
You see Phil, your mistake was giving him the opportunity…
If were doing useless youtube vids, here’s one I had lying around…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci0×1O5w_Tk