Thanks to everybody who read my short story and provided their thoughts and comments. I’ve temporarily taken it down in the hopes of upgrading the plot to make it ya know, more mainstream. More Hollywood-esque.
I realized a little too late that it needed more of the standard fare: the obligatory sex scene, the black comic sidekick, the jealous boyfriends, and finally, a happy, tear jerker for an ending. Oh, and let’s not forget a subplot involving lots and lots of poisonous snakes. Yeah, all that good stuff.
Final copy should go up by the weekend(ish) for your reading pleasure.
Nishant says,
I think Al-Queada should try to highjack the plane, and then the math guy should save the day.
Look at it this way, because of this comment, your readership now includes the NSA.
Dan says,
Good idea listening to reader feedback. Most authors would say something along the lines of “Bah! These fools don’t understand my art.”
If I were to chime in, my suggestion would be make math more central to the plot. i.e. instead of simply explaining aerodynamics to kill some time, it should be used somehow to move the plot forward. Sort of “math saves the day” or “math gets the girl”.
And you can’t wrong with a sci-fi twist. Here, allow me to compose it:
“…And he leaned in towards her - bravely avoiding the arm rest that was separating their conjoined seat. Hand in hand, eyes fixated on each other, he moved in to kiss those delicate lips that promised so much. Suddenly, lasers of different colours started attacking the airplane! There were red lasers and green lasers and yellow lasers everywhere. One of the lasers hit someone in the head and melted their eyeball. The End.”
Jonathan Weatherhead says,
*snorts* math gets the girl! That would be stretching things to say the least. But see for yourself
However, I DO like the lasers idea, cause they are frickin cool. Particularly when mounted on sharks.
L says,
haha!
I missed the first edition of the story..!