Every day, when I wake up, I weigh the pros and cons of,
A) Going to the office, where I can work in a quiet and serious environment, but where pants are a necessity.
Or,
B) Staying at home to work, where I can be distracted and slack off, but where I can enjoy a luxurious pant-free environment.
Lately, it’s always been A, A, and A, you know?
Work is more important, I guess.
But then I started thinking: On Saturdays or Sundays — a day like today — when nobody comes in, why not work at the office in a pant-free environment?
Is the minimal, inconsequential risk of being caught, humiliated, and made the departmental weirdo not worth the carnal delights of smooth, non-chafed buttocks and the opportunity to feel the crisp, cool air on your loins — all the while doing earth-shattering mathematical research?
Your call, dear readers.
Dan says,
Every political, social, or (in this case) fashion movement starts with one lone maverick standing up for what’s right.
You’re like the Martin Luther King of not wearing pants at the office.
In order to make an even grander statement, I think you should take it one step further: instead of not wearing pants when no one’s around, just don’t wear pants to work ever.
Should you choose to follow your dreams, here’s how I imagine it will go down:
For the first week, you’ll get some stares of disgust.
Then, something magical will happen: people will realize that deep down inside they too have a strong desire to take off their pants at work.
Your followers will grow in numbers and the movement will spread to other departments.
Eventually, women who don’t shave their legs will join the movement and they’ll ruin it for the rest of us. The university will be forced to update its dress code and the movement will recede into the underground.
Now, with pantless attire being banned, you may be tempted to wear “short shorts” as a compromise. Do not do it. We live in a strange society; one that believes wearing no pants is very manly but wearing short shorts instead is severely homosexual.
Lina says,
dan always comes up with incredibly witty and HIGHlarious comments, comments like those make me look forward to reading each and every blog entry that is posted!
An Cailin says,
I must say… I’m in favor of not wearing pants ever. But I’m also in favor of dignity…
hot coffee girl says,
You’d still have your socks on, right? Then it’s all good.
Baby says,
Well, since it’s an undisputed truth that most men think with their loins, and since your loins should benefit from more oxygen, unstifled loins would improve your thinking; hence, sans the pants, your mathematical research would be even more earth-shattering, if that’s possible.
Dave says,
Just wear silk pants and go to the office commando style. It feels like HEAVEN.