I had that dream again.
You know, the one where all your teeth are falling out?
Yeah, that one.
I mean, we all have that dream. All the time. Sometimes, our teeth crumble like dust. Maybe quickly or maybe over what seems like weeks. Other times, our teeth fall out one by one, the first one wiggling for a good long while, but the others tumbling afterwards like candy from a Pez dispenser.
Everybody knows what the teeth-falling-out dream means: Insecurity, helplessness, fear of abandonment, blah, blah, blah. The standard stuff.
One thing I’ve noticed about all my teeth-dreams is that my mum and dad are always there. I know that sounds horribly childish, but there it is.
There’s something about parents that reassures you that, despite losing all your teeth, they’ll still be there for you. Alas, your friends and lovers may desert you, but never good ol’ mummy. Plus dad, in his infinite wisdom, will always know what to do with your dental situation, even if all you have left is a mouthful of dust.
Anyways, mine started with the molar.
It hadn’t fallen out yet, but it was wiggling pretty damn persistently. But then I ran my tongue over some other teeth and noticed they were wiggling too.
Panic-stricken, I ran downstairs and found my dad. He was just about to leave.
“Dad,” I pleaded like a five-year-old, “My teeth are falling out! What do I do?”
Dad, in all his practical ways, pulled out a bottle of superglue from his pocket and grinned.
“You apply some of this when it falls out,” he said. “Press for forty to sixty seconds and allow to dry in a cool place.”
Luckily, I managed to realize that was pretty shitty advice.
So I just ran back upstairs and waited.
The molar came out. Eventually.
I noticed as I held it that it was larger than usual — about the size of half my palm.
Then I looked up at the mirror and grinned.
That’s when they all fell out.
Every damn one.
And then I woke up.
Jonathan Weatherhead says,
Woah… I rarely remember dreaming, usually only when I have a high fever and then it’s something really whacked out and tripping. I did have a vivid one about flying when I was young - I was flying around my house and it was so real I almost tried it when I woke up… Luckily common sense kicked in.
But no, my sleep is empty and boring 99% of the time (although I do wake up with innovative solutions to complicated coding problems more often than not)
Nishant says,
When I was about 10 I had a dream that I had advanced leprosy. That was deeply unpleasant.
Dave says,
I don’t know what the hell you’ve been smoking Phil…
…but where can I get some of DAT??
Dan says,
I once had a dream that giant ants ruled the world.
At least, I think it was a dream.
Lana says,
That’s bad luck Phil especially if you’re Vietnamese. The old folks always say that something bad is about to happen when you have dream(s) of your teeth falling. Think positive Phil.
some girl says,
Maybe you should have used the glue.
annie says,
I have never had that dream.
I often have one where my scalp has flakes in it, like HUGE, the size of sliced almonds. Ew.
Kelly says,
Did your fingers fall out too? So that’s why no new posts. Sorry to hear that dude.
steupz says,
Dang, have you gone on hiatus?