To: Phil
From: Nishant
Date: Today
Subject: The girl on the bus

I can’t believe you told that whole story just to say that you dutifully looked away.

You’re classic Phil.

To: Nishant
From: Phil
Date: Today
Subject: Re: The girl on the bus

Don’t tell me you were expecting something else!

Come on now! This is Phil we’re talking about. The man that’s destined for a future of misery and loneliness, whilst surrounded by math books and crazy cats.

- p

Today, I bring you some light-hearted randomness.

But first, thanks to V.V. for making my day!

To: Phil
From: V.V.
Date: About a week ago
Subject: Contact Form Results

Okay. Dude. You just forced me out from my lurkdom (which I comfortably enjoyed, rubbing my shallow naval and drooling about at my own leisure) with that whole front-page dilemma. Having a very odd and inappropriate crush here. Hopefully, it’ll pass.

Also, feel free to send questions on How To Get Girls Naked that I’ll answer to the best of my capabilities as sign of my devotion and gratitude.

As you were,
- V

To: V.V.
From: Phil
Date: About a week ago
Subject: Re: Contact Form Results

I knew it!

Girls totally have a “How to Get Us Naked” book. It’s probably right next to their, “How To Throw a Proper Slumber Party” reference guide.

Thanks for being so sweet, V. I’ll have to take you up on that offer!

- p

Is this not the most adorable video, ever? It’s about a rabbit that falls in love with a cat.

Man, I’m such a softie. It’s soooo embarrassing.

Here’s another cute one. This one’s aptly named, Animator vs. Animation.

Dan and Heba wrote to me today regarding my post on Joshua Bell’s incognito performance in the D.C. Metro station.

I hope you — like me — can find enjoyment (and perhaps even criticism) in their wonderful commentaries.

To: Phil
From: Dan
Date: Late night
Subject: Contact Form Results

I must admit I only had time to quickly scan the article…Are they honestly saying Mr. Bell’s experiment demonstrates even remotely something about the average person’s disdain for classical music? They can’t actually be condemning society this way. If this is case, someone should introduce these vain people to the scientific method.

Amongst the many flaws this experiment has, the most outright is in the context. As someone who currently lives in a city with a subway system, I know that whether you’re playing pop/rock/classical/african music, you’re likely to be ignored by tens of thousands of people in a given day. Even the greatest classical enthusiast doesn’t hang out in the dirty, acoustically-dreadful subway to hear masterpieces…

So why should busy and unsuspecting commuting people be expected to pay any attention? Do people even have to visibly react or pay him to prove they enjoyed/acknowledged something? I see and hear things all the time that I find enjoyable but I don’t always stop to smell the roses.

On the other end of the spectrum, I don’t interrupt my morning jog when I see people I dislike to punch them in the face, either. Maybe I should.

In this case, neglect does not necessarily imply disrespect.

Tell the proponents of that attention-seeking virtuoso to get a clue. They make better musicians than scientists/sociologists.

Night,
Daniel

To: Phil
From: Heba
Date: Sometime this afternoon
Subject: Contact Form Results

Math and classical music are not for the masses, but [are] very fine indeed. Most people like junk food, not gourmet stuff. So math and classical music is gourmet food for the mind and soul. Cherished by those who covet true quality. You, Mr. Phil, are a true connoisseur of gourmet food.

Heba

I find it endlessly amusing when people call me Mr. Phil.

To: S.P.
From: Phil
Date: Recently
Subject: Re: girls — boooohoooo, snivel snivel, bleeeeh

Dude, why do you always have to be so emo?

Loads of people have have experienced way, way more distressing relationships than you: divorce, marriage, children, heartbreak, long relationships flushed down the drain, infidelity — the list goes on.

Now if you don’t pace yourself, how are you going to ever enjoy all these exciting opportunities?

It’s funny, because I found out that the guy who e-mailed me last month is actually one of my biggest fans.

It’s true.

The day he sent me that e-mail, he visited my page over 50 times. Over the last few weeks, he’s been pretty constant — you know, visiting me at least a few times every day.

It’s nice to know I can attract that kind of attention. I can’t wait to get my own paparazzi, street stalkers, peeping toms, and jealous boy/girlfriends of smitten admirers.

I’ll try to sleep in the nude and leave my blinds open, just for you, oh lovely secret admirer.

To: Phil
From: Dave
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

Ahahahaha are you serious? Who sent that email? ROFLCAKES!

I can smell the jealousy spewing out of that email all the way here in Guelph, and everything smells like shit here! (Due to the agriculture farms)

To: Dave
From: Phil
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Re: Hate Mail

Oh yeah. It was real. I never make up the e-mails in my blog, you chump.

To: Dave
From: Phil
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hate Mail

Damnn lol, who sent it?? Find out!

To: Dave
From: Phil
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hate Mail

And what? Beat them up and take their lunch money?

To: Phil
From: Dave
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hate Mail

I was thinking more like tie em up and bust their knee caps.

You’ve gotten too soft Philippe.

Here’s some of the wonderful reader mail I’ve received. I got a little bit of everything (thanks guys), from deep comments about how girls have gone through this kind of petty bashing since grade school, to more practical comments, like how to settle this problem more directly.

From busting kneecaps (Dave), and swinging crowbars (Cerb), to launching bricks (N.L) and punching kidneys (Macarena).

Welcome to the dark side.

To: Phil
From: Shard
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

Many people take a small (sometimes large) glee at doing things like this, playing “stalker”. I know that you can take care of yourself, hell I know how much you lift Just use that same confidence that lifting taught you, and dont let it bother you anymore.

As for the identity, I would take a guess that it is someone that is just jealous of your success at your schooling, health, and friendships. Just take it as a compliment.

So no worries man, it is just another newb scared by your L337tn355.

To: Phil
From: Illah
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

You have what’s known on the streets as ‘haters’.

Think about it, you got your […] scholarship, Canadian medals, built body, amazing academic performance, etc. Some people want that but for whatever reason they came in 2nd place (or 200th) and they hate that. You then become the representation of their own inadequacy and insecurity. They try and find any opportunity to chip away at you to make you seem less ‘big’ so they can feel like they’re not so small by comparison.

I try and keep most of my success quiet - learned that early on. Makes life easier.

To: Phil
From: D.S.
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

Is it insecure for you to worry?

Only a few people are emotionally impervious. The rest of us love to be liked.

To: Phil
From: F.N.
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

Fuhgheddaboudit, you have more serious and important stuff to worry about.

To: Phil
From: Dachy
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

I once had a problem with a friend messing with me like that, talking about me behind my back.

Next day I was talking to my boss about it and he said “Do you love him?”, with the most serious face. That made me laugh and I realize how funny it was that I even gave a damn about what the guy thought.

Now it’s an ongoing joke and anytime one of us talks about the guy, we say “Do you love him?”.

To: Phil
From: Nishant
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

Jealousy takes many forms Phil. Don’t sweat it. Take comfort in the fact that
you could crush this punk for mentally and physically.

I would go on, if I thought anything I could say would make a difference. Take
care.

To: Phil
From: NYCWD
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

Simply put, don’t let that other e-mail get to you. […] If you buy into [his] negativity, well then you’ve failed. […]

I think you get my meaning. If you’re still confused, then it’s simple:

Fuck’em.

To: Phil
From: Macarena
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

Ah, anonymous backbiting and jealousy - we never really leave middle school.

{Hugs} Want me to beat him up for you? I’ve never punched someone.

To: Phil
From: N.L.
Date: Some time ago
Subject: Re: Hate Mail

Oh man, I like it when guys finally experience this because girls have gone through this since about the age of six. Yes, girls are brutal. It’s something you become desensitized to eventually and well, just delete the emails and don’t even read them. You don’t need bad medicine in your life and don’t let someone beat you up like this if they don’t have the balls to say it in your face.

My philosophy? If it’s not in my face, then it’s not worth getting worked up about. If they get in your face? Have a brick handy, baby. (I may or may not be kidding about the last sentence.)