“So you listen to a lot of classical, huh?”, asked my passenger.

“Sure,” I replied

“I don’t get it. What’s the big deal? It’s all so boring to me.”

Wordlessly, I loaded a CD into the stereo.

Seven minutes and twenty-six seconds later:

“Whoa.” said my passenger.

It’s very fascinating to walk around campus this time of year and see all the scared little first years bustling about.

I can’t help but think of the days when I was a first year student. Two years later, those nervous jitters and the excitement I used to feel before starting in September has all but disappeared. The only thing I’m looking forward to now is TAing a pair of classes.

Poor miserable little shits don’t know what they’re in for.

“How many hours am I expected to TA?”, I asked one of the administrators in Math.

“Uh. 140 hours.”

“What?!?’ ‘I can’t spend a hundred and forty hours with whiny little brats.”

She shrugged. “That’s why we pay you the big bucks.”

“Fine, just get me an office with a window. That way, I always have an escape plan.”

“We’re on the forth floor, Phil.”

“Exactly.”

“If you ever have kids,” she asked me, “what would you name them?”

“I thought I told you already. I hate kids. I can’t stand the pests.”

“Fine.” she sighed, irritated already, “One day, a sexy woman from your past walks up to you and tells you that she’s bearing your illegitimate love child. After you recover from the initial surprise — ”

“Surprise? In my case, I’d be postively mystified.”

” — After you recover, she asks you to name the soon-to-be born baby. What do you suggest?”

“Well, I always liked the name Claire.”

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Godawful name if you ask me.”

“How about Evelyn. I always thought Evelyn was pretty. Eve for short.”

“It’s not bad”, she admitted unenthusiastically.

“Fine then. When you have kids what are you going to name them?”

“I’m not having kids, remember?”

I shot her a threatening look.

” — but if I ever get a dog”, she added quickly, “If I ever get a dog, I’d call him Lance.”

“So if I ever see you again after this year, and I have an illegitimate love child while you have a dog, we had better stick to our original plan.”

I offered my hand. “Deal?”

She smiled and took it.